A reflective message on the year as BAUN president

10 October 2019
Volume 28 · Issue 18

What a year! It has been hard but, before I continue, I must remember the successes. I must stress that I am my own harshest critic and my own worst enemy. My biggest sphere of learning remains around accepting praise.

Did I honestly know what I was facing? No! I wasn't prepared for the volume of work, emails and phone calls. The pressure from doubting my abilities has been relentless and energy sapping. The hardest part of being BAUN President is the business planning and financial awareness required of the role. I thought I had a breadth of knowledge about the inner workings of BAUN, but at times I felt I had to know all the answers to all the questions that no one ever posed or asked. That is, in itself, hard work and unproductive. I am normally good at asking for help, but I've been poor at it this year. I've needed to take myself away frequently and give myself a good talking to. The pressure of responsibility and overwhelming sense of inability to do a job well has left me vulnerable to making mistaken assumptions without good reason, and poor performance and behaviour.

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